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One thing I love about certain experiences is the fact I can learn from them, we've different experiences for various reasons. At times God let's us 'grow' through certain situations because He's trying to teach us something, at times it's so we would help others who would go through similar situations.

Soooooooo it's been three or four weeks and how have you beennnnn? For me I've being enjoying God's love and I've been joyful too. 

So straight to what I'll be talking about today; part of my Asuu break experience and don't forget to always grab a glass of milk, sit, relax,enjoy and learn.

My Asuu break was divided into different phases and experiences, but I would be sharing a particular phase.

That was my learning phase. This phase started with anxiety, worry and fear. Then I had this feeling I no longer understood. I didn't want to resume, I wasn't ready for growth or life itself, I had hurts from my relationship with certain people and then unforgiveness crept in. 

There was no longer clarity, I wasn't so sure of why I was living. I wanted to talk, I wanted to ask for help, but the enemy did show up, reminding me that I didn't deserve help, that asking for help would feel like a waste of time because nobody would help me. During this period, I wasn't praying, but I tried to always express my heart to God through journaling and honestly, He did help me. I remembered in one of those letters to God, I told him I knew I should talk to him, but I was scared, I was scared if He would listen to me, because I had  stayed away for so long, but the truth was I knew He would accept me, but I just chose to accept the lies of the devil that He wouldn't.

During those periods there were days I felt I was fine and the next moment I was down, I remembered one Sunday, I was In church, fortunately the topic for Sunday school was on depression and suicide, and everything felt like it was me, I thought I had my emotion under control, but that day I watched my emotions betray me, I really wanted to scream right there, I wanted to seek for help, but I didn't, I wasn't open, I was hoping that someone would ask me what was wrong, but nobody did because nobody read minds. I did leave full of Joy, but maybe I left the Joy at the entrance of the church, because all of it continued. 

I was talking to a friend and the issue of us not seeking help came, and I got to understand who the real enemy is. So I took a bold step and talked to someone, and honestly I got the help I needed, it didn't happen like magic, I didn't pray or study my Bible immediately and those worries didn't go immediately, it was a process I had to grow through. In all of those processes I kept on journaling and writing letters to God expressing myself to Him. And God helped me indeed. 

For my devotion, I had tried using the youversion app one time like that, but because of my phone issues, I couldn't, so I had this devotional podcast I normally listen to, and checking their bio or profile I realized youversion could work on the browser too. It was sooooo much Joy for me.

Yessss the books that helped in that period was 'Fervent' by Priscilla Shirer and 'Waiting and Dating' by Myles Munroe. 

When I started healing from past hurts, when I began growing, I could hear the whispers of the devil telling me that this wasn't the first time I had tried to do the right thing, that I'll go back to the way things were before. I could remember listening to this sermon 'Sacrifice in your service' by Pastor Iren, and I got to realize that yes, I've failed and made mistakes at some point but I should move on and stop holding on to the past, yes I know I've been faced with so much disappointments but I should open my heart to the new things the future holds. 

I did talk to someone about the lies of the devil in my head, and yes he sent me this scripture Jude 1:24 "To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy" 

Another thing I did to counter the lies of the devil was to speak the word, in the movie 'War room', one thing I learnt was to speak, there was a scene were Priscilla Shirer who was 'Elizabeth' commanded the devil out of her home, and yes when fear peeks, or things I know it's from the devil, I tell the devil to take his lies out and I remind him on who's the Lord of my life.

One thing that aided my talking to someone, was the people I surrounded myself with. First was the person who told me about the lies of the devil, Second, was the person I did talk to.

Then I started growing, I started praying and studying back, I wasn't so sure of what God wanted me to do, but I was learning and growing through the process. I of all people, I did finish two books in a month and seven days, it was a big win for me honestly, because ehn I know myself. And I'm glad I learnt from the experience

In my next post I'll do a review on the book fervent.

Photocredit: Google